I’ve gotten a ton of messages and emails about my take personally on the whole Duggar situation, how it’s been handled, the parents, the victims and of course the offender. It’s been a really tough story for me to handle on many different levels as you can imagine. Let me see if I can tackle how I’m feeling in words for you.
I personally feel sorry for ALL of the Duggar girls. Not just the ones that were molested, but all of them. And the boys too. None of them have had a say in their childhood at all. None of them have had a normal childhood. Because of their parents desire to produce a small army, they don’t know what it’s like to really have parents that know everything about them without having to consult a play book. For the littlest ones, the older ones are substitute parents. We aren’t talking “The Waltons” here for anyone that remembers that show or that family. No, that was three generations under one roof. Here we are talking about parents that refuse to use birth control and just kept having kids. They admit to using the “buddy system” to parent the children. If you aren’t familiar with the “buddy system” it’s where an older child is assigned an younger child to take care of, help with their school work, pick out their clothes, etc. You know, do the things a parent would do.
To top that off, because of their parents refusing to use birth control and their religious ideas, they caught the attention of Discovery Networks. That big beautiful house they live in? Mom and Dad Duggar bought the land and the frame, the Discovery Networks finished the house and sponsors provided a stocked pantry, art for the walls, furniture and everything else. All because Michelle and Jim Bob liked to have sex and pop out babies. Not a bad gig if you don’t give a rats butt about your kids. Each kid was another year on the television. The kids didn’t a choice. They didn’t get to say “Excuse me, Mom, Dad, I don’t want to be a part of the circus! I don’t want to be on TV. I want to go to a NORMAL school. I don’t want to be a part of the *buddy system*. ”
It’s easy to see the control that Jim Bob and Michelle have over their kids. Don’t get me wrong, the kids seem to love their parents too. But none of those kids express free will. Oh wait, Josh did by abusing his sisters. While his father was running around the state proclaiming that anyone who commits incest needs to be put to death.
And while we are talking about the parents insanity, who can forget about Michelle Duggar’s robocall last year about transgender rights? You know the one where she claimed that they were sexual predators? If you haven’t heard it, you can find it here.
So wait a minute. Jim Bob says that if you commit incest you should be put to death. And Michelle says that gays and transgender folks are child predators. So does that mean that Josh is gay or transgender and that he will be put to death? No, not in their world. Because they prayed and he is forgiven. I’m not sure how that works, why he’s so special.
Now, lets discuss his victims. America is a country that will not name a victim of rape or molestation if they are under 18. That means that for the average person, like me, our stories while they may hit the press they don’t have our names and pictures plastered with them unless we say it’s okay. I happen to be a grown woman with 30 years of therapy under my belt, so I’m okay with people knowing my story and having a picture to put with it. I’m okay talking about it because I’ve had that therapy. However, I remember before I had therapy how I felt. I didn’t want to talk about it, I didn’t want the public knowing, I didn’t want my friends knowing. I had tried to tell people to get help and help never came. I can’t imagine how these girls are feeling. We already know that their brother didn’t get any real help, he went away for three months, read the bible and built a barn. When he came home, there was more “tame” time. I guess that means he was kept away from the girls more? But the girls, they were told to forgive and forget. How can they forget? And why do they HAVE to forgive? So let’s recap this, they were molested by their brother, their lives have been splashed all over tv for the past 15 years (including the time when they were being molested), they haven’t received any therapy or help and now the whole world knows which girls were molested, even the one under 18. And they have no choice or say in ANY of it. The sheer fact that they haven’t all fallen apart is amazing. But then again, behind closed doors and away from the camera, maybe they are are falling apart. I don’t know.
We need to place the blame for this nightmare where it belongs, with the parents. They weren’t there for the kids, they placed the responsibility for raising the little ones on the older ones. They sheltered the kids and gave them no one to talk to really. Sure they could talk to members of the church, but how does that work when your Dad is pretty high up in the church? How long before we find out more dirt in the Duggar closet?
On the subject of Josh….he needs to be punished. He needs to make amends. He needs therapy. He wasn’t a “kid” when he committed the crime. There are “kids” that are parents at that age. According to the bible, he was already past the age of accountability. He needs to be held accountable.