All posts by prncssgeek

Day 7 — What tattoos you have and if they have meaning.

This is really easy. I have no tattoos.

However. I’ve considered getting a tattoo. But not too seriously. I’m not a huge fan of them but I understand why people get them. I just don’t think I want to go through that much pain for something that is not going to look the same all the time. I mean face it, I’m going to gain weight, lose weight, get more wrinkles than I already have, I may have to have body parts removed, skin removed, etc. You never know what is going to happen. So keep that in mind when I say that the tattoo I’ve considered getting is the one pictured below.

I would add the kids names inside the loops.

Now, while that is an awesome tattoo and anyone who really knows me, knows that it has a ton of meaning with the kids names and the paw prints, that would look like crap wrinkled, cut in half, faded, etc. So, no. Not happening. And I stick my finger twice a day, and I insert the BGS in my body once a week, that’s enough sticking for me! Doesn’t mean I don’t love my kids or animals, it just means no more pain than I need!

Day 6 — Someone who fascinates you and why.

This one is really hard for me to write, not because I don’t have anyone that fascinates me, but because I have several people that I’m in awe of and I tell them every day. So I can’t narrow that down and write about just one when my life is guided by my fascination of so many strong people.

First — I would have to say, Trudy. She’s amazing, she’s strong, she’s a pioneer woman, but yet she’s sensitive and kind. Trudy is the mother I always wanted, the big sister I wished I had, the friend I’m glad I have. She’s the person I cry on her shoulder about anything and there is no judgment only “It’s okay, you’ve got this, let’s figure it out.” It amazes me that she takes whatever life throws at her and plants it to see what will come up. Recently, she had a major health scare at the same time Brian’s father did, I was in a pickle trying to figure out how to be in two places at one time. Thankfully they both pulled through. I’ve never met her in person and I don’t want my first time to be while she’s in the hospital or at her funeral.

Second– Next would be Pamela. I love her fire, her spirit, her drive, her artistic eye. It fascinates me the way she can tune out the world and paint a guitar that so matches my personality that it’s like she reached down into my soul and pulled it out of me. She’s walked a path that hasn’t always been easy but she’s always come out on top. She a fighter and a winner. She pours her heart and soul into things she believes in, she believes in her family, her heart and women’s causes. I’m glad to call her my friend.

Third — The Amazing Sissy. Animal Activist, Human Activist, Women’s RIght’s Activist, former 1/2 owner of the Daily Brew (which I never made it to), a better photographer than I’ll ever hope to be and she’s kind and wonderful on top of it. She has an amazing partner, an amazing daughter, an amazing family. EVERYTHING about Sissy is AMAZING. She’s been everywhere, done everything, seen everything. Who needs “Seven Degrees of Kevin Bacon” play “Seven Degrees of Sissy” and you’d enjoy the results much better!

The thing that these three women have in common is their strength, love, and kindness.  Not only do they fascinate me, they are my role models. There are several other people on this list, but these three are the top three. Whenever I feel myself slipping over to the dark side, I stop and think, “What would Trudy, Pam or Sissy do” and then figure out if that is something that would work for me. Sometimes it is and sometimes it isn’t. But at least I try. I don’t want to be a carbon copy of any of the people that fascinate me, but I sure would love to be able to take all the good things about them and incorporate them into my world.

Thanks for reading.

Day 5- A place I would live but have never visited

Today’s writing prompt is so easy for me. I have the place picked out. I’ve had it picked out for years and years. Well, the place did change, but the country didn’t. The place used to be Yellow Knife, Canada. I fell in love with it many years ago while listening to radio stations on our HUGE satellite dish. Do you remember that show on tv that would use the radio station to send messages to family members? It was called “Northern Exposure”. I didn’t watch it a lot, but I would catch an episode from time to time. I thought it was cool, the small town atmosphere, the friendly neighbors, people were there for each other and I loved that. I found that same type of town while listening to the radio station in Yellow Knife Canada.

I started researching Yellow Knife and found out it was just the type of town like in the show “Northern Exposure”. For years, I would threaten to run away and hide and that would be the place I would plan to run to in my dreams. And then the show “Ice Truckers” became something. And guess what, they filmed in Yellow Knife. I don’t know how many seasons they filmed there but I saw that the filmed one season there and it was no longer that cute, quiet little town. It was full of people and production crews and it was loud. So I gave that place up. There was no way I could run away to Yellow Knife. And enough people heard me complain about it that the word was out, Yellow Knife was my hiding spot.

Then I found a new spot. It’s still in Canada and it’s beautiful….and it’s not popular like Yellow Knife. But it was in a movie. And if I ever turn up missing, that’s where you will find me. But no, I won’t tell you the name! It’s a secret! Only a few people know only the people who I would want to find me!

Day 4: 10 Interesting facts about yourself– I failed.

Wow, really? Am I supposed to write 10 interesting facts about MYSELF? I personally think I’m not interesting.

Okay. So I’ll give this a try. I’ll start with a fact that always make people look at me funny and scratch their heads.

1. I’m my own aunt. Yes, you read that right. I am my own aunt. How can that be? My bio father’s mother adopted me. That makes my bio father my legal brother, so his bio child (me) is my niece. There are not enough branches on MY family tree! LOL

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

8.

9.

10.

And that’s my list. I don’t think I’m an interesting person. The only thing I can even remotely come up with that is interesting is the fact that I’m my own aunt and that isn’t interesting, that’s just screwed up!

We will call this day a writing challenge FAIL!

 

Day 3: Your 1st love and your 1st kiss, discuss both

My first real love? Or my first childish love? Which do I write about?

For a long time, I didn’t know what love was because of my past. Face it, I didn’t know a lot of things because of my past. I had to learn them on my own. I would like to think that my first love was Daryl Posey, but he wasn’t really. I thought he was, he was a great time. He was there when I needed him. But then I learned a lesson, thanks to my egg donor, that he really wasn’t there for me.

See, I can’t tell you about the first time I kissed Daryl, the first time we went out, the first time we had sex or any of that, but I can tell you how I felt around him. I felt great, I felt like someone finally cared about me. Someone wanted to spend time with me, to talk to me, to hold my hand, to be seen with me. And yes, have sex with me. But I can tell you about the last time I saw him and how it crushed me.

The last time I saw Daryl and his amazing green eyes was at my egg donor’s house. She had this bright idea for me to find out if he really loved me. Now, I was only 16 at the time. As my “mother” she shouldn’t have been trying to find my “true love” and my future husband, she should have been worried about my grades in school, or better yet, getting me BACK in school, discussing college with me and helping me figure out how to  grow to be an adult. Not trying to marry me off. But no, I thought Daryl and I were madly in love, he was discussing going off to college and what was going to happen to us then. Then my “mother” came up with this “brilliant” plan to see if he was really in love with me. Her plan was to tell him I was pregnant and see how he reacted. She said “If he loves you, he’ll marry you and then you can either get pregnant or fake a miscarriage. If he doesn’t really love you, then he’ll break up with you.”  Well, I think you can guess how THAT worked out, since I’ve already said that the last time I saw him it crushed me. You would be right, he told me that he didn’t want to be married, he didn’t want a child, and that since we used protection every time we had sex, it couldn’t be his. (Back then I couldn’t spout off that condoms are only effective 98% of the time. ) He yelled, I yelled, he punched a wall, I cried, he cried and then he got in his muscle car and drove out of my life. I never saw him again.

That was what I *thought* was my first love.

For my first kiss, I have to refer to my first kiss that meant something to me. The first real grown-up kiss that I remember. And for that, I’m simply going to pull the passage from my book “Scorned”. To set the scene, Jesse and I were on our first real date, we had gone out to dinner.

“We sat there eating and talking until it was almost time for them to close. Jesse paid the bill and we left. He looked at his watch and realized how late it was getting. He said that he had planned on us going to the movies but obviously we couldn’t stop talking and missed it. He wanted to know if it was okay if we went back to my place for a while to just hang out and chat some more. I was more than happy to spend more time getting to know him. Again, he held the car door open for me and I slid on over to the middle and waiting for him to get in. This time he put his arm around me as we drove back. When we pulled up in front of my place, instead of sliding back over to my side, I slid out his side. Just little things like that made it seemed like we had always been a part of each other’s lives. He took my hand and we walked up the sidewalk to the front door. Instead of going in, though, we sat on the swing and talked some more. At one point, he wrapped his arms around me, used one hand and lifted my face to look into my eyes. He told me that he could tell that there had been a lot of sadness and fear in my life, more than I was telling him and that I never had to fear him. He said that he would never lay a hand on me to hurt me, ever. And with that, he leaned in and kissed me on the mouth.

I melted. I thought everything I had read in Patricia’s romance novels was phony. But I saw fireworks. I heard them too. I’m sure if we were standing my foot would have popped up like you see in the movies. The feel of his lips on mine was like nothing I had ever felt before. I swear that every bone in my body had turned to jelly and I was going to slide right off the porch swing. My heart was beating so fast that I thought it was going to beat out of my chest. There was no tongue involved. It was just a simple lip-to-lip kiss and it set me on fire. When the kiss was over I melted into his chest and could hear his heart beating, I swear it was beating as fast as mine was beating. His breathing was certainly as fast as mine. We sat there for a while, my head on his chest, him with one arm wrapped tightly around me, the other hand stroking my hair. The whole time he was whispering something in French. It was one of the most innocent yet romantic nights I had ever experienced. After a while he shifted and kissed me again, I had the same intense reaction. It was so new to me I didn’t quite understand it, but I knew I wanted to keep feeling it because it was so enjoyable. When the kiss ended he said that he needed to get his mom’s car home because it was late and he had to work tomorrow.”

And to be completely honest….Jesse was my first real love. As a grown up, looking back on my life, I know that now. We had a love story that lasted until he died. And there was not a phone call or a meeting that didn’t end with the words “I love you” even when we were in relationships with other people. As I once put it, we had seniority in each other’s lives.

Day 2: Your earliest memory

My earliest memory? Really? Who wants to hear about MY earliest memory. If you’ve read my books or the first one, then you know that MY earliest memories, suck ass. They aren’t happy, they aren’t pleasant, they aren’t even tolerable. My first memories are horrible. Even if I had to pick a “pleasant one” it would be of standing up in the front seat of the car while my Dad drove. Eating a roll from KFC, yes, a roll, back before they had biscuits they had the best yeast rolls ever. And I loved them. But that’s not even a pleasant memory or a happy one. Because we were going “coon hunting”. Yes, that’s right, I was riding along with my father as he was going hunting raccoons. It was not pretty, happy, pleasant or enjoyable….except for that damn roll.

Writing Challenge Day 1 — 5 problems with Social Media

A budding writer posted a writing prompt challenge on Facebook a few days. Needing to get back in the habit of writing daily, I accepted the challenge.

A great writing challenge

As you can see Day 1 is “Five Problems with Social Media”. Now I could just list the problems, but that would make for a very short blog. So I’ll take it one step further and give a brief reason why I think the reason I give is a problem.

1. Too many trolls.

Reason: The internet is the new “playground” it’s full of bullies and trolls. Most of the time, there is no reason for an “and” between the words because they are one in the same. If they can’t get under your skin as a troll, then they will try to bully the hell out of you. I see this ALL the time on political threads on friends walls, religious threads, women’s health care threads. I’m not shocked that my friends have friends that have different opinions. I am shocked that the friends with different opinions feel that they can be rude and disrespectful on their friend’s walls.

2. Fake people

Reason: This one is easy. On the internet, you can be anyone. It’s been this way from the beginning of the internet and even before the WWW was available to everyone when it was just a bunch of bulletin boards systems like AOL. You can rarely be sure of who you are talking to, sometimes, even if you have met them in person. What seems like the sweetest person online may be like that the first couple of times you meet them. Then they get comfortable with you and they turn into something else. They could be a liar, a cheat, a user, married cheating on their spouse, or someone you simply don’t want in your life. Hell, they may not even look like the person in their picture. If it is a picture of them, it may be 10 years old. Or it may be a picture of their child. Who knows. Trust is hard earned on the net and easy to lose.

3. Shallow relationships.

Reason: No one takes the time to really get to know each other online. I’m guilty of this too. For example, I have 263 friends on Facebook and personally really know probably 60 of them. And that’s pushing it.

4. “If it’s posted on Facebook, it’s true” mentality.

This ties back to #2. Fake people, fake news, fake profiles, fake updates, fake pictures. But there are some people who will believe ever single thing that is posted. And those who will take creative liberties with the truth to get a point across.

5. Everyone is a genius.

This one is easy. Think about it. 90% of everyone on social media (FB, Twitter, Instagram. etc) is a subject matter expert at something. Some really are, some are learning to be, some just want to be.

And there friends and neighbors is Day One of my writing challenge.

Thanks for reading.

I will NOT be bullied

Oh poor little “Cry Baby” you don’t like it that I published the psycho bullshit harassing message that you sent me. I did you a favor by blocking out your name and your picture. So did you REALLY think that I was going to publish your comment here with your name and your threat? Grow the fuck up.

And while you are at it, tell your little bully girlfriends that their threats aren’t going to work either. You don’t scare me. And really, all the verbal abuse? Come on bitches, I was abused by one of the craziest bitches out there. Do you really think that your high school games are going to bother me.

Go blow your nose and dry your tears. But for shit’s sake GROW THE FUCK UP.

You’re so vain, you probably think this post is about you!

Don’t you! Well…IT IS!!!!

I don’t follow your thoughts politically. I kinda figured we were on the same page since we are in a lot of the same groups and we fight for women’s rights and victims rights. I guess I was wrong. But you know what, I didn’t interact with you that much to know who you were voting for or why. Really I didn’t. We TALKED ABOUT CATS most of the time.

So I was really surprised that you posted a fake news story and swore by it. Even when I pointed out that it was not a real news site, your answer was it was no different than the major news sites and the major news sites were refusing to post the “truth”. And then I said “I didn’t realize that you a Trump fan because you haven’t posted anything about HIS sexual misconduct or HIS upcoming trial for child rape.” To which you flew off the broomstick and accused me of hating on you and how dare I not know WHO you were voting for and why! I explained that I wasn’t hating and I really didn’t know. And I told you that I didn’t want to fight and I was not going to accept anything from that site because it wasn’t a real site, it catered to people wearing tin hats and conspiracy theory nutjobs. And I told you that I really didn’t want to fight with you because I liked you to much.

But NOPE you kept it up. You posted more from that site, “Here you want names, here’s names!” Yep, you gave me a name that not even conspiracy theory people trust! Their “trusted source” is someone that hasn’t worked in the government since 1979 but claims to have worked under Reagan and Bush, but he stopped working for the government under Carter because he didn’t agree with Carter. (Okay) And he claimed that there was NO WAY that Obama’s administration killed Bin Laden because Bin Laden had died BEFORE 9/11 even happened. And he is a fiction writer who specializes in military and spy fiction. Oh and then there’s a little thing like him claiming to be the inspiration for Tom Clancy’s Jack Ryan. (Bullshit!)

And again, I said “I don’t want to fight with you”. And you came at me again. So I deleted my original comment. Hoping to put an end to it all. But NO, you were being a freaking BULLDOG with your teeth caught in steak and you would NOT let it go! You sent me a message claiming VICTORY! Obviously your last comment was so distasteful to me that I had to delete the whole thing. You were to blinded by your ignorant bullshit stupidity that you could NOT see that I just wanted to fucking stop fighting with you. And then you said “You don’t have permission to share this private message” BULLSHIT.

Just STOP. what part of I DON"T want to fight with you was SO freaking hard for you to understand. I'm GLAD you unfriended me, you are nothing but a freaking ignorant bully.
Just STOP. what part of I DON”T want to fight with you was SO freaking hard for you to understand. I’m GLAD you unfriended me, you are nothing but a freaking ignorant bully.

So there, now this post is about you. And really, what paranoid world was I think you wanted to fight? Maybe the part that you wouldn’t fucking let it drop? You just kept on.  And to make sure that YOU had the last word….you did unfriend me. And I’m glad because you are one crazy as bitch.

I didn’t ask you to like me

I get it, I really do. I’m outspoken. I say what’s on my mind and I’m not shy about it. I don’t live in a world of sunshine and daisies and I don’t pretend that I’m something I’m not. That makes YOU uncomfortable. I’m comfortable with me though. I’m sorry you aren’t. But here’s the thing, I didn’t ask you to like me, I didn’t ask you to be my friend. That doesn’t mean that I’m not happy you are my friend, but it doesn’t give you the right to try and change me.  It doesn’t mean you can tell me who I can or cannot talk to or when.

If you don’t like that I post controversial things on my facebook page, then unfriend or hide me. But don’t tell me that using the word fuck three times in one post makes me sound like trailer trash. Here’s the deal, I don’t like that you post every recipe that you find nor do I like it that you share lies about our POTUS and I certainly don’t like it that you support a rapist. But here’s the deal, instead of posting on your wall or calling you, I’ve hidden you from my news feed. Because I didn’t want to hurt your feelings.

And you over there that decided that the “country is a church”. Here’s a thought for you. You aren’t a christian. You are the farthest thing in the world from a christian. I could say a LOT of really mean things about you here because I found out some really interesting things about you. However, unlike you, I won’t. I understand that you are mentally ill, that’s why you decided to tell me that since I didn’t believe like you that I deserved to be beat and raped as a child. I hope you get help. I really do. And I hope that you don’t get custody of your children back until you do get help. It’s best for them. Because really, if you believe that I deserved to be treated the way I was treated because I don’t believe like you do, what would happen to your daughters if they decided they didn’t believe the way you do.

What this all boils down to is simple. This is my blog, it’s my facebook page, it’s my twitter feed, if you don’t like what I post, then unfriend me, don’t follow me, don’t read what I write. It’s okay. I’ll be alright and so will you. Freedom of speech is great. Its guaranteed by our Constitution. Is my speech always pretty, nope it’s not. Is it how I feel, yep it is. I’m sorry if I’m too honest or real for you. I’m sorry that you want to live in a world of sunshine and daisies. I’ve never been lucky enough to know what that world is like, but honestly it sounds kinda boring. I’m not saying that everything has to be a battle or a controversy but it’s not always happy go lucky either. Life is real, it has it’s ups and it’s downs, we have good days and bad. I can promise you this, as your friend I will be there for you during those good days and those bad. And I will never look down on you when you are having a bad day or when you feel the need to scream about something, even if I don’t agree with it. I will have your back. THAT is what friendship is about, not trying to change someone.